“A Scene Not Acted”
“A Scene Not Acted”
11/9/2007
Today I dreamed a scene never actor
Played. The cast was less than miniature,
For only you and I, demur,
In intimate bounds were sure.
We opened our tender
Sacks and shared our words
Like we never
Had. We were
Ever
Pure.
***
Wake.
I hate
It when breaks
The moment space
And all time stood braced
To loose the final lace
That bound our lips from the taste
I lived till now to drink. I paced
The room and wondered if this my play
Might find another actor in my place.
Perhaps your love will never shine on my face.
jeques said,
November 9, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Kevin,
Double etheree in reverse. I’m beginning to identify the difference. It is interesting to note that you can actually play around this structure and still achieve a beautiful result.
I like how the plot in this piece made a turn around to match the structure leaving the reader a glimpse of the scene like a vignette. It ended sad, and it left a certain pinch to the heart.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
Kevin Olsen said,
November 14, 2007 at 3:10 pm
There’is a lot to be said for the actual line length of a poem communicating in tandem with the words. The possibilities are both powerful and endless!
brightsilentthought said,
November 24, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I like your poem and find it moving. As you say, the style and the meaning can support eachother so well, and here you’ve matched them cleverly. The rhythm arising out of the length of each line causes the pace of the ’story’ to accellerate as the lines shorten, then slow down towards the end. It works well.
quidam58 said,
November 28, 2007 at 12:18 am
I like how you stand etheree on its head with such powerful effect here, like an hourglass. I enjoyed this piece. There is subtle movement in the length of the lines, which builds to the climax.